QUICK SHOTS: Friday the 13th Part 3: 3-D by Micheal Avallone

For those who are going to read this in the future just have it known that I timed something out right in life and got this review of a FRIDAY THE 13TH film done and out on...dun, Dun, DUN...Friday the 13th. Hold your applause. This is ground zero for Jason Vorhees in the written word, which is a little surprising to me since the novelized just about everything back in the day. I've covered a few of the YA novels here but this is the first grown-up Jason novel I've read.

This one's got a bit of bad reputation within the Friday fans, most of them don't seem to think my man Avallone got the tone right of a Friday film. And, yeah, they are probably right. This is exactly the reason why I LOVED this book. I'd imagine that most fans of the movies had never read one of Avallone's works before (they're missing out) and they don't quite understand what Avallone puts down when he writes a book. 

You have to look at this way, over coffee or a beer Michael Avallone tells you the story of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 3-D and he tells it to you in HIS voice, with little asides, mind wanderings and also probably sticking his finger out almost directly in your eye during the 3-D parts. He doesn't resort to just a bland retelling of a screenplay in a different form, he spins a Michael Avallone yarn with the screenplay as a jumping off point. 

Case in point: the novel starts off with a quote from THE SATAN SLUETH! Avallone's sadly too short series about Phillip St. George III who battles the occult and other monstrosities, a little like SCOOBY-DOO for adults who like whiskey and cigarettes. So, The Satan Sleuth is cannon for Jason to fight now? Where's that book? This sort of thing is fairly common in Avallone's work, his best-known character that loveable private eye Ed Noon shows up in The Butcher when Avallone was writing them too. It's part of why I love his work, but I'd bet it flew over the heads of the kids and teenagers who only wanted to read about dismemberment then and now. 

Now, I also LOVE the FRIDAY THE 13TH movies. For my money they are the sturdiest, meat and potatoes slasher pictures of the 80s. They sort of blend together in my mind sometimes, but I don't think they ever sink to the lows of some of the entries in the other slasher franchises of the time. Having just participated in a podcast where we watched every HALLOWEEN movie from the original to the 2nd Rob Zombie film, I can tell you the highs might be higher with HALLOWEEN, but the lows are much, much lower.

The novelization follows the movie pretty closely, though there are difference since Avallone was working off of an earlier script. Some kids come to Crystal Lake to stay for the weekend, but uh-oh Jason is there. Part 3 is the one where Jason finally gets his hockey mask and were everything is right in the world. Buts it's a "faceless white mask" in the book, still better than a burlap sack. It's slice and dice, and crush and stab past that. Avallone breezes through the book and seemingly had a good time with it. Even though I doubt slashers where his thing. Having read some of his other works in the horror genre like THE COFFIN THINGS and his work in the gothics, he was more traditional in his horror taste I mean he did ghost write for Boris Karloff after all. 

Michael Avallone is one of my favorite writers, I can't seem to dislike a book of his so I'm biased but if you go in with the right mindset, I think it'll be a good time for the reader. Problem is this, like every 80's slasher franchise novel is ridiculously hard to come by and very expensive when you do. Being an Avallone fan this was a my "white whale" for quite a while before I bite the bullet and scooped it up for around $50 which wasn't the worst deal sadly. I'm glad I did though. Sometimes in collecting you have to open your wallet to make the itch go away.

Oh, and no, no parts of this book required 3-D glasses. 

Ed Noon Double Feature: High Noon at Midnight & Death Dives Deep by Michael Avallone

Every now and then you got to dive into the Nooniverse. In the plethora of literary private eyes there's none like Ed Noon, a true man for all seasons and problems. One the same time he's an old school tough-guy detective out of "Dime Detective" and sometimes he's a Don Quixote in the world spies, evil scientists, femme fatales, crooks, cops and even Presidents. He's all of that as well a movie and baseball buff who has soft heart and a (luckily) hard head. Ed Noon is a wonderful filter for Avallone's passions and obvious love of fun, action/mystery yarns. 

I found Ed a long time ago, when I was in high school with a short stack of used paperbacks. They were in rough/falling apart shape and patched with tape. A lot of Avallone's books in used bookstores seem to be a rough shape. I think these were read, passed around and read again. That's a nice compliment to a writer. Over the years I've managed to get a pretty complete set (a couple still illudes me, dammit) but it's not the easiest run to collect as Avallone and Noon bounced between publishers from Perma and Gold Medal to longer runs at Signet and Curtis. Like the back and forth of publishers the series conforms itself to the paperback trends at the time. 50's hardboiled detective novels that morphs itself into a P.I./Spy for the President that transforms itself if a kooky 70s mystery series full of quirks and pulpy death into a transcendent novel of an alien invasions, Gary Cooper and forgotten indemnities. 

If you're new to Ed Noon "High Noon at Midnight" isn't the book to start with though it's one of the pinnacles of the series. Ed's taking a vacation when a little man comes up to him on the plane and offers him a job as an assassin. Then the little man is knifed in the back. Then the plane explodes. That's just the beginning. Ed's flung into a world of androids, impending invasions, alien abductions, evil asylums, fembots, growing old, Gary Cooper as the voice of the good in the world, socks to the jaw and the love of old friends. Ed spends a lot of the books not knowing if he's sane or not, if what is happening is ACTUALLY happening or if he just fell off the rockers. Scenes flow back and forth in time and space as Ed's broken brain (with the help of Cooper) tries to do what he does best: stick the pieces of the puzzle together. The chorus line of Don Quixote, The Three Musketeers et. all is a highlight, Ed getting a pep talk from his childhood (and adulthood, Ed never grew up) heroes to make it through is a nice touch.

Noon is different from most paperback private eyes in that he's not the ultra-tough Hammer-type, nor is he the therapist-turned-detective that Archer is. He's got a little both in there, but mostly he's just a regular joe thrown into wild situations straight out of the pulps.  Even the proposed alien invasion kind of works like one of the many invasions of "Operator 5" pulps. "High Noon at Midnight" also has echoes of Avallone's previous works the mind-controlled Noon adventure "Shoot it Again, Sam" and the spy-adventure "The Man from Avon" which tackles dem pesky aliens. Avallone surely had them in the back of his brain as he wrote what would be the final Ed Noon. Though there are rumblings about an unpublished sequel "Since Noon Yesterday" that might surface someday. I read it too early. I might have been too young and dumb, but on this second read it just struck me how it's such a wild and fittingly melancholy final chapter in the series. 

Back when Ed Noon had a red, white and blue direct line to the President to get his adventures he got sent a funky manuscript straight out of "Argosy" in "Death Dives Deep." This was one of the books that I got in first round of Ed Noon madness back when I was a teenager. I had always fondly remembered it as it was one of those books that broke me out of my reading rigidness. At the time I pretty much just wanted straight-private-eye-mysteries of the hardboiled variety. I had passed through my secret agent phase and wanted something like Mike Hammer all the time, with the occasional Shell Scott palate cleanser. I went into the Noon's thinking that they would be a little like Shell. Of course, they aren't, they're ain't nothing like an Ed Noon. Back then I still preferred the older Perma/Gold Medal/Ace Double era of Avallone's work. Now I'm all about how weird and wild it got as he crossed over into the Curtis run. Those are pure id on the page. 

"Death Dives Deep" starts out with a little manuscript that starts all the trouble. It's a wild sea-tale of adventure with gold and killer mermaids. IT'S FUCKING GREAT. You can pull it straight out of the book and run it as a short story without any trouble. Makes me wonder if that's where it started. The Prez sends it to Noon and the yarn spins from there. Some of the Spy-era Noon's read a lot like Spillane's Tiger Mann books (cockeyed of course) where a lot of the espionage takes place in the jungles of the New York City with blazing .45's. By the time we get on the way to Florida by the femme fatale-super-villainess the book is almost over, but it's a slam bang ending. Along the way we tackle The Bermuda Triangle angle, various murders, an FBI shanghai, the Communist threat, Noon's love of the one-of-a-kind Melissa Mercer and a President in critical condition. There's a lot of stuff packed in here. This is where the Noon's really start a more experimental stage. What's started here is the nugget of what "High Noon at Midnight" expanded on. It's the kind of progression that rarely happens in a long running series. It keeps the later ones just as fresh and vibrant as the early ones, just in different ways. 

I mean, I can go on and on about Michael Avallone and Ed Noon. They taught me a lot about writing, about an author's voice and series character writing. Avallone wrote a ton of books. I pretty much always get some joy out of them, but so were obviously for paychecks and that's no dig. People turn their noses down on professional pulpster/paperback writers. That's a lot of crap, it's incredibly hard to write for money AND still make it entertaining. He proved it time and time again from "Mannix" to "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." to "Friday the 13th." Will I ever get to the "Patridge Family" novels he wrote? Hell, maybe. I'm re-reading to avoid reading the final unread ones on the shelf, saving them for some mythical rainy day or sunny backyard with a cold beer read. A day with some friends between the pages. 

Michael Avallone's The Man from Avon and Other Book Selling Men of Action Plus Bettie Page

I had a fever when I picked up "The Man from Avon," man. I felt like a heap of crap, I needed me a pick me up and in that fevered state I figured I was in the perfect mindset to visit the "Nooniverse." Okay, "The Man from Avon" isn't an Ed Noon story but the wild antics and undisputable laws of the Nooniverse apply to the entirety of Michael Avallone's work. So, just go with me here, okay? Plunge into the weird. 

Ironically it was his novelization to "Cannonball Run" I read first without knowing who the author was, but that's another story of misspent muscle-car driving youth. Then I knew his name before I had knowingly read one of his books though the seemingly always snarky "online critics" of his work. Their words made it sound like his writing was bad, but hell, it sounded SO good. After that I actually discovered who/what a Avallone book actually was via a four-pack of dollar used books one day at my local dealer. Two Ed Noon's, his Man from U.N.C.L.E. and finally "The Man from Avon." I was hooked. The years past and I discovered Avallone wrote all the stuff I like, hard-boiled private eyes, Men's Adventure vigilantes, super spy-fi spies, tawdry little noir-types, novelizations, and most of all PULP! 

It had been too long between readings of Avon for me to remember much about it. I just remember finding it to be a bunch of fun bounded together between paper. Jerry McKnight is the top salesman for Avon books which works as the perfect cover for his actual job as the Government's top super-duper secret agent hunting down them pesky U.F.O.'s. Jerry is a little more idolized then my old buddy Ed Noon. Noon is a bit of a regular schlub thrown into the crazy, mixed-up action. Larry is Steve Holland with a case full of books. After a very real U.F.O. is seen by a sexy librarian in Old Bridge, New Hampshire Larry is parachuted down with different sexy lady with his Avon case in tow to investigate. The book actually owes a lot to the Operator No. 5 pulp tales, stalwart hero against a seemingly fantastic enemy. It boils into a cross-country chase full of strangely electrocuted victims, U.F.O. chases, spy-fi weaponry, beautiful virgins, characters named Gil Kane, odd city-wide blackouts, and valuable information about Avon book's products. Seriously, if you dig old paperbacks (who doesn't?) this part of the book is worth the price of admission. Clues hidden in rejected of Robin Moore's "The Green Berets," discussions of John Creasey's The Baron, spy books and even John D. MacDonald. Not to mention a little about how the book selling business actually worked back then. It's only let down by a slightly rushed ending, but still a more than worthy entry into Avallone's library.  

You'd think this would be the only example of spy/bookseller in the paperback world, but a year later in 1968 Sphere book across the pond put out "The Man from Sphere" by John Gaunt. This is a bit more traditional (from perusing) Bond-like spy tale about a hero named Galahad Brown. I'll report back on this one. But here's where it gets even wilder, there's another HIDDEN (sorta) Larry McKnight adventure.

"A Rep for Murder" stars Avon salesman Larry McKnight Jr. on the trail of a missing (naturally beautiful) romance novelist and running from a murder rap. Larry Jr. isn't Steve Holland, he's a bumbler trying to save his skin, job and trying not to dishonor the McKnight name. This book was written as a promotional "not for sale" item for Avon's 50 year anniversary it appears on some bibliographies of Avallone, but not all. The book is clearly a work of Avallone's its wild, wacky that barrels forward at break-neck speed and its full of wonderful old mystery clichés. Avallone seemed to have a lot of fun writing it. Plus there's tons of references to Lawrence Block's Matthew Scudder, Ed McBain's 87th Precinct and other great Avon titles. It's a hoot, very much like Avallone writing on of those 40's mystery B-Movies.

Want more? Larry McKnight shows up again! This time in Michael's son David Avallone's work on the Bettie Page comic book put out by Dynamite. In fairness, I received this graphic novel from David Avallone himself, not to review but as a thank you for sending him a harder to find Ed Noon for eBook transfer. And I'm very happy I did, Vol. 1 is a blast! McKnight is Bettie Page's boss as she works for the government as a spy hunting down wild villain's, filming a sci-fi movie, clashing with cults, and basically being a wry comic book hero which is enough for me. It's a rollicking good time and it's nice that old McKnight is still kicking around. Also check out David's work on the Elvira comic, its just as good and enjoyable. I need to catch up with more of his work as he's written both The Shadow, Zorro AND Doc Savage! Too cool. Though a Ed Noon comic book would be something...*cough* *cough*

Can you tell I like Michael Avallone? He was a one-of-a-kind writer and that's something commendable, not many authors have a voice strong enough to to be instantly recognizable. I like one-of-a-kind writers, just like I like one-of-a-kind people, they kind of folk you can yak at for hours and hours. Reading an Avallone is sorta like listening to a buddy spin a yarn at you. Do yourself a favor pick up a Avallone and have a good time. And don't trust just any online reviewer...

Oh, wait...

Quick Shots: The Coffin Things by Michael Avallone

The cover of "The Coffin Things" by my man Michael Avallone promises that it'll soon to be a movie by François Truffaut. Damn. That's a shame that never happened. I'd give up a finger or two to see that movie. There's a lot of paperbacks claim "Soon to be a Motion Picture" on the cover, but this might be the first one I've come across that exclaims who the director was going to be. Hmmm. There's a story there that's probably lost to the sands of time. Anyway, last year I bought a box of Avallone books off eBay. I mostly was looking for the Ed Noon's that were in there, but "The Coffin Things" caught my eye. This edition has a great cover that it shares with a Len Deighton book. There's a lot going on with this novel and I haven't eve talked about what it's about.  

"The Coffin Things" is a carnival fun-house of a book. Once we bought our ticket and walk into the home of Dr. Stewart Garland, the world's finest mortician, the rug is constantly pulled out from underneath us. It's a full-tilt ride full of corpses, grisly murders, private eyes, local cops, nudity, ghosts (maybe),  lesbian sex in cars, missing plus found prostitutes, and interesting ways to spend the after-life. Being a Michael Avallone book there's Gary Cooper references, musical bits, James Bond name-drops with some spy-ish gadgets and a lot of old fashioned fun. Garland is the mortician to the rich in a small town and after a series of personal rejections and loss he looses his grip and begins to take his subtle revenge. Which he does in the nude in his basement mortuary, It's easy to imagine Boris Karloff in the part. It really has a feel of a classic 40's B-Horror-Movie. A spooky house film updated for the wild late-60's. Though hopefully Karloff would have remained clothed if the film was made. To top that off there are some "weird vengeance" pulp-vibes running through it, but like all of Avallone's work it really could only have came out of his typewriter. 

Man, I loved this book. "The Coffin Things" is top-shelf Avallone, so particular, fun-loving and spooky. It might be my favorite of his novels, but it's hard to top a couple of Noon's. It's easily my favorite of his non-series work. Now I'm on a quest to track down the Gothics he did as Edwina Noone (perfect) which seem like they might be similar. It's not the easiest (or cheapest) book to track down, all old horror books seem to go for a premium, but there was at least two editions of it so that helps. 

Quick Shots: The Butcher 31: Death in Yellow by Stuart (Michael Avallone) Jason

Throughout the 31st volume of The Butcher phrases and names stick out, Fu Manchu, Tarzan, Shiwan Khan, "The Master of Men," this is Avallone wearing his pulp-love on his sleeve and acknowledging what kind of novel he's writing. Michael Avallone is one of my favorite writers, if not my favorite. His Ed Noon books spanning thirty-years is a towering work, an ever-evolving take on the generic private-eye tropes told in a incredibly unique, funny, thrilling and snappy manner. It's something few writers could have done, write that much about one dude and never make it stale. He was a one-of-a-kind writer. 

Avallone took over The Butcher series with number 27 and wrote all of the remaining books in the series. James Dockery wrote most of the rest of them and I've never made it through one of his entries. The inception of the series is interesting because it was originally offered to that utterly badass writer Ennis Willie to continue his Sand series. He didn't want to do it and passed it off to Dockery who made a very pale copy of Sand and left out all the tight-writing and excitement of Willie's writing. It's my recommendation to only bother with the Avallone Butchers but also buy Ennis Willie's Sand books too and cry to know that there could have been more Sand in the world. Basically Butcher is "the only man to walk out on the mob," who has a price on his head but now works for the government. He likes ladies, blasting baddies and his silenced Walther P-38, that's about all you need to know.

"Death in Yellow" is a yellow-peril book, a spin on Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu novels and the decedents of Fu Manchu. Those sensitive to racial issues might have a problem with it, but "Death in Yellow" is no where as bad as a actual Fu Manchu in terms of being VERY racist, the novels villain just happens to be Vietnamese who acts Chinese and enjoys the "evil mastermind" stereotypes. Avallone is playing in a sub-genre that could easily make a reader feel uncomfortable. I can read and enjoy things and look past the out-dated prejudices, though I do understand and acknowledge that parts of certain novels are problematic but not everyone can and that's okay. There's plenty of books in the world.

But this a corker of a book, straight-to-the-point and pedal down. Butcher barely has time to breath as he is assigned by "White Hat" a super-spy organization to go to Florida to check in on a super-gas that can kill swaths of people. As per usual with the series, it opens with a mafia hit-man trying to collect he price on Butcher's head and spoiler, failing. Then he gets wrapped up with Gorgeous Jean and he muscle-bound morons, gets laid, is attacked by rabid rats, gassed, knocked out, and trapped in Lo Te Tsang's Spanish Ruins complex of death in the Florida swamp to save a scientist and get some revenge then there's some more double-crosses and picking up pretty waitresses. It's a busy coupla days for Butcher.

This is pretty much what I look for in a Men's Adventure book, lots of adventure, ladies, comforting action tropes and a slight tongue-in-cheek approach. Avallone has a fun, loose way of telling an adventure story, you strap yourself down, let it roll and you'll have a good time.

Men's Adventure in Digestable Form

I've been a book slump; what I pick off the shelves just hasn't been hitting me right or maybe the outside world is just keeping too much of my attention. Whenever I get like this I turn to short stories and novellas, punchier works that don't take anytime to devour usually screws my head on straight. When this strikes, I turn to my digest and anthology shelf. I'm a big fan of digests, but they can be a headache to collect, their scarcity and higher prices has made my collection modest, though I buy them whenever I can. I keep dreaming of the find of a full big box of Mike Shayne's, Hitchcock's and Ellery Queen's but it hasn't happened yet, dammit.  Anyway, here's a smattering of short reviews for short works.

"Seven from INTREX" by Michael Avallone in The Saint Mystery Magazine, September 1966

Michael Avallone is one of favorite authors and it had been a while since I dipped into his work. The David Seven series (four stories) all appeared in The Saint Mystery magazine over the course of 2 years. Seven (cool name) is an agent for a independent crime-fighting agency funded by rich people (if only) to work toward Peace, man. 

David Seven himself is a fairly standard secret agent-type, not surprising that Avallone wrote the first Nick Carter, Killmaster AND the first Man from U.N.C.L.E. tie-in novel. This is very much his own version the super-agent. Knowing Avallone's love of the pulps, it wouldn't surprise me if Operator 5 or Secret Agent X helped in the process. Seven's partner Miles Running Bear Farmer, who gets himself in trouble in this story and Seven has to work to get him out. It's a whole lot of fun, short and too the point with all the nice comforting 60's spy-fi tropes that make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I would have loved it if Avallone wrote expanded Seven's world to novel, but it seems like he was busy enough at the time. Though if David Avallone ever reads this, I'd be first in line with a handful of money for a collection of Michael Avallone's short works.

"A Fox on Broadway" by Gary Phillips in "Crime Square" edited by Robert Randisi

I've long been a fan of Gary Phillips, his Ivan Monk mysteries are some of the most unsung private eye novels of the 90's. Plus his stand-alone novel "The Perpetrators" is a stone-cold action novel classic, one of the most high-octane books I've ever read and one of the few I've read more then once. This story is set in the early 80's and stars Pete Atlas, a Men's Adventure private eye who's just plain cool. Not to mention that it name-drops Angela Harpe, star of the "Dark Angel" series by James Lawrence! (Which got me to spend WAY too much to pick up a entry in the series, god, I'm a sucker)

"A Fox on Broadway" is a hoot! Man, it doesn't seem like Phillips ever revisited the Atlas character and that's a bummer. It reads like a super-condensed paperback novel in one of the "Sweats." The opening grabs you (there's a hat-wearing man in a gorilla suit chasing a naked woman down the street) and then throws you on a wild, tight little escaped involving brain-washing and damned 'ol Nazis. The only problem is that its short, I could have read a lot more about Atlas and his adventures. 

 

"The Majorcan Assignment" by Bill Pronzini and "The Cinder Man" by Jeffery Wallermann in Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine, October, 1972

It took me a while to realize that I was reading a "Nameless" detective story from Bill Pronzini, it dawned on me about the time I thought, "gee, did I miss this guys name?" then I felt dumb. I've read a big chunk of the Nameless series in my teens (I was that cool) and always enjoyed them, especially the early ones and the ones centered around pulp magazines. He's a little more hard-boiled in this early story then I remembered him, but it's been a while since I read one of the novels.

"The Majorcan Assignment," finds Nameless in Majorca to deliver some hurried cash to a rich man's son, he's looking at it like a nice vacation, but once there and after a smack in the face he knows trouble is brewing. This is a nice, clean and to-the-point private eye tale with a little more heart then you average tough-guy tale. I'm going to have to dig out one of the novels to read, as it's been too long since me and Nameless hung out.

Jeffrey M. Wallamann wrote with Bill Pronzini some so it was only fitting that I check out his tale, "The Cinder Man," starring insurance investigator Sam Culp. I had read another Culp story in the "Pure Pulp" anthology and enjoyed it. It's a bit by-the-numbers but Culp's a likeable character and it built to some nice tension. I must have liked it well enough because it got me to order Wallermann's novel "The Spiral Web." 

"The Busy Corpse" by Stephen Mertz in The Executioner Mystery Magazine August 1976

The Executioner Mystery Magazine was a short-venture, it probably didn't get a lot of traction because unlike other "stars" of mystery magazines, like Shell Scott, Mike Shayne or The Man from U.N.C.L.E. there is no novella staring Mack Bolan in the magazine, he just lent his nickname to the title. But there's good stuff in them, old stalwarts like Talmage Powell , Gil Brewer, and Richard Demming had stories in them, so you know it's got class.

Stephen Mertz has written a lot of books, including "Some Die Hard," which I reviewed a while ago. He's a fantastic old-school writer of tough-guy fiction who's work is clean, professional and most importantly very entertaining. "The Busy Corpse" is his first published work and it already showed that he was guy who had the goods. It's a clever and fun private eye story and maybe the secret inspiration for "Weekend and Bernie's." I need to pull his newer series about Kilroy, the 70's set Denver P.I. who's already had a few adventures, off the shelf and give the rest of them a spin and review them. "The Busy Corpse" is also easily available in "The King of Horror and Other Stories," a collection of Mertz's short work.


"A Trip to the Islands" by Edward Y. Breese in Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine February 1971

This issue of Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine not only has one of favorite characters from MSMM Johnny Hawk, but it also as a Jules de Grandin reprint and the Mike Shayne story was a ghost-work by noted sci-fi and Lovecraftian author Frank Belknap Long, so it's got a lot going for it. But I'm in for the Johnny Hawk tale, so:

Johnny Hawk is a super-hard boiled trouble-shooter with a cut-down .45 Colt New Service and a penchant for getting into and out of jams. Hawk got a lot going for him, he's suitably tough and without a strict background his stories can be mysteries in the private eye mold or more of the secret agent type tale. He would have made a great paperback hero, but Breese kept busy ghost-writing Mike Shayne tales for MSMM and selling stories to other digest. "A Trip to the Islands," is a nice south of the border type adventure with dangerous dames and bad-baddies. I'm on a mission to collect all the Johnny Hawk tales.

Serial Reflections: Ed Noon by Michael Avallone, the Private Eye to End All Private Eyes

In the year of 1953 a little book was published by Permabooks by a fellow by the name of Michael Avallone. It probably looked like a standard tough-guy private eye to the unsuspecting reading public. But it's like the Wardrobe in that book with the lion and the witch. It's a portal to a different universe: The Nooniverse. It's a wild, wacky, dangerous world in the Nooniverse. Once you enter the Nooniverse you better let the safety bar securely latch down otherwise you'll be thrown from the roller coaster. Things are hazy and dangerous and full of life and death.

Michael Avallone wrote like no person before or since. It's a hodge-podge of jokes, rants, thrills, spills, baseball, movies, pork-pie hats and blazing .45's. The plots make sense if you squint and tilt your head. The voice of Ed Noon is what you read the books for. The doged W.W.II vet who hangs in there even when shit gets weird. AND SHIT GETS WEIRD. For being in a living, breathing pulp word, Ed's a down-to-earth kind of guy. He's no Superman, but it doesn't mean he can't pull off amazing thrills, he might just stumble along the way and he'd probably rather be listening to a ball game on the radio. The reigns are on for the first few books, they just read like slightly cockeyed 50's hard-boiled detective yarns. But Avallone soon shakes the reigns loose and things get odder in the Nooniverse as it expands into the big bang.

See, Ed Noon's a pulp character through and through. He would have fit right in on the pages of Dime Detective Magazine or in the back pages of an Operator 5 or perhaps most appropriately in Dan Turner, Hollywood Detective. Avallone loved the pulps and entertainingly wrote about them in some old issues of Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine. It makes sense that he wouldn't try for the grim and gritty noir world that most of his fellow paperback men tried to milk. No, he blazed his own path.  Avallone always seemed to do that. It's probably why he outlasted most of them. Ed has to live in a pulp world because by say, 1970's "Death Dives Deep" he's hip deep in the Bermuda Triangle and dancing Mermaids. By that time he's the President's Part-Time Private Spy. You don't get that in many books. In 1965's "Lust is No Lady" villains in a plane try to dump a bunch of bricks on his head. "The Voodoo Murders" from 1957 put him face-to-face with (the voodoo kind) zombies! See Avallone was having himself a blast writing these. You can tell. Fun drips from the pages. In an era of generic one-note fiction detectives Ed Noon stood out from the crowd, he had his quirks and foibles. He might think a woman is too good for him, he will fall for the wrong dame, he will make mistakes and people might die and it'll bother him. He will antagonize his buddy Monk of the N.Y.P.D. Tommy guns will crack through the air. He might be in love with his secretary Melissa Mercer who keeps his Mouse Auditorium in order, but he damned sure loves his pork-pie hat and the army .45 he keeps safely in his shoulder holster (he keeps a war-trophy Walther P-38 in his desk, just in case too) bottom line Ed Noon can deliver.

It's the flexibility of the the world and character that keeps Ed fresh through 30ish books. The exact count is confusing as the wonderful Thrilling Detective website lists books I can't seem to track down and some were only printed in England. It's fitting that the amount of Ed Noon's out there is a mystery. To be able to bounce between mystery stories and spy stories probably kept Ed new and interesting to Avallone for the decades he was writing about him. Plus you can pluck a Noon off the shelf for whatever mood that strikes you.

Michael Avallone called himself "The fastest typewriter in the East" and his writing had the sense of urgency I crave from a slim paperback. Noon's don't go in for slog, they move quick and easy, flowing from the pen of a thorough professional. Avallone wrote a helluva lot of books, tie-ins for the "Man From U.N.C.L.E.," the first Nick Carter Killmaster, works in the Gothics, horror novels, some of those spicy 60's spy Coxeman novels down the line to books based on the "Partridge Family." It takes a fine writer to be able to write books across genres and to put energy into work-for-hire jobs. Avallone would write your tie-in book for "The Cannonball Run" and you know what it'll read like he wrote it. In the 70's he wrote a series called "Satan Sleuth" and while you might be disappointed if you wanted a straighter occult detective tale, but if you wanted a high-adventure Doc Savage in bell bottoms you'd be as happy as could be. When James Dockery stopped writing the Men's Adventure series "The Butcher" Avallone stepped in and wrote some of the most entertaining blood-and-guts men's adventure books ever written, a mix between Ennis Willie's Sand and Norvell Page's The Spider. All in all Ed Noon and Micheal Avallone are my kind of guys and they should be your kind of guys too.

If you're looking for a place to start I'll give you some suggestions:

For a tough-guy private eye yarn I'd read "The Crazy Mixed-Up Corpse," "The Voodoo Murders," "Meanwhile Back at the Morgue" or the one that started it all "The Tall Delores."

For some spy-fi, I'd pick up "Death Dives Deep," "London, Bloody, London," "Assassin's Don't Die in Bed." But the top-self spy-Noon for me is "Shoot it Again, Sam." It's a wild ride of brain-washing and Bogart.

Wait, you crave some science-fiction? Then you better pick up "High Noon at Midnight" where Ed may or may not be fighting off an alien invasion of cockroach-headed-beings with ray-guns. Plus Gary Cooper.